Are you a teen? Are you involved in a relationship? You must educate and empower yourself to build violence free relationships. Many think that violence only comes in the form of physical acts taken against another person. Have you ever been teased, sent a hurtful text message or read harmful words on a computer? These too, are acts of violence taken against another person. These acts affect our emotional well-being and can leave lasting scars. Teenagers place emphasis on being popular and this is especially true when it comes to adolescent girls. Being a parent and a Police/School Liaison Officer, I see others place importance on looks, popularity and relationships with the opposite gender. The order in which they rank these three items of importance changes by the minute. Depending upon what happens with these matters, can result in whether or not the teen has a positive day or experiences hurt, loneliness and loss of self-worth. The latter, may lead to hurting themselves, friends and family members with words of their own.
Teen Dating statistics show one out of every three relationships show signs of abuse. If one party shows patterns of controlling the behavior of another, this is abuse. Teen violence is often hidden from others because the teen has little to no experience in relationships, they want independence from parents, peer pressure directs them to be violent and they have romantic views of dating. Some young boys feel the need to possess others by having complete control, the need to demand intimacy and they may lose respect from their “guy” friends if they show attentiveness and support to their girlfriends. Young girls feel that they are the ones responsible for solving problems in the relationship, possessiveness and jealousy is romantic and abuse is normal because their friends are being abused too. It’s no wonder teens feel this way, have you listened to current music trends, watched music videos, movies or television shows? Ask yourself, “How is the Media portraying the genders?” We have become a society that is num to not only violent physical acts, but emotional ones too.
Teens Dating Bill of Rights and Pledge:
- I have the right
- To always be treated with respect
- To be in a healthy relationship
- A healthy relationship is not controlling, manipulative, or jealous
- A healthy relationship involves honesty, trust, and communication
- To not be hurt physically or emotionally
- To refuse sex or affection at anytime
- A healthy relationship involves making consensual sexual decisions
- You have the right to not have sex
- Even if you had sex before, you have the right to refuse sex for any reason
- To have friends and activities apart from my boyfriend or girlfriend
- To end the relationship
- I pledge to
- Always treat my boyfriend or girlfriend with respect
- Never hurt my boyfriend or girlfriend physically, verbally or emotionally
- Respect my girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s decisions concerning sex and affection
- Not be controlling or manipulative in my relationship
- Accept responsibility for myself and my actions
It is important that teens have a dating plan and safety plan with regards to relationships.Help teach your children the importance of healthy relationships. Provide them with the education to empower themselves to know what is right and what is hurtful. No one should control another person. Parents, what examples are you modeling for your children? Is your relationship at home one of abuse? If it is, report it! Take a stand by getting help. In Jefferson and
Remember, you have the right to be safe, the right to be heard and the right to say no. Other sites to visit that offer help with relationships include;
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