Learning to Cope: Teens & Stress

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. ~Unknown high school principal

How should we as parents help our teenagers from folding under today's pressures? First off, focus on the positives your child has accomplished. We all like to hear good things said about what we do, how we act and the decisions we make. Never start off a conversation by telling them you are disappointed and they need to change. Remember, you once we like them, a teenager, facing similar life changing choices. The world today, is much different than it was when we were young. Next, look for signs. Be involved and stay involved in their lives. Make sure that they don't become overloaded with today's pressures. Finally, teach stress management. Offer different ways to deal with stress. Some strategies include; exercising, following a healthy diet and keeping a journal.

Allow your teenager to express themselves through communication. Keep in mind that communication is never a one-sided conversation. You need to listen as much, if not more than you talk. Parents tend to think they have all the answers because they have been there before. I agree that most have a tremendous array of knowledge, however the pressures teenagers are facing today is so much different and as parents we don't have all the answers.

For example, teenage girls often feel they need to meet three basics requirements of fitting in; to be popular, to be pretty and to have a "guy friend". The order of how they obtain these goals changes minute-by-minute. Should something be said about their looks, friends or "guy friend" during the day, many a time they have lost an entire learning day if not more at school. This shows the amount of pressure they and others place on them. Teenagers need to be reassured on a daily basis to be true to themselves. Don't give in to what others think is important. Only they can make decisions about their life.

Many teenagers become involved in risk making decisions because of wanting to accomplish those three goals noted above. Risk taking includes drinking alcohol, taking drugs and sexual relationships. These risk-taking decisions may forever change their life. Indicators are present and must be identified immediately before damage occurs.

Teens are not always equipped to handle on their own the physical, emotional and psychological changes they experience during adolescence. Parents MUST be there to offer guidance and support! Parents must learn more about the current pressures middle school and high school teens are facing today.

A real informative website to help parents is Parents: The Anti-Drug site. Again, any words that are in red, when clicked on, leads to a link on the Internet. Within this site you will read information on other pressures teens have, some have already been named above; others include; To fit in, To be sexually active, To pick on others, To be successful and To be perfect. What can parents do?

The site addressed above will also give you much more information on drugs that teens are experimenting with today. One of the biggest increases I have seen through the years is the use of prescription drugs. Many adults who have prescriptions fail to safeguard them at home and/or never finish using the entire amount thus leaving them behind. Know the signs, be informed and empower yourself as a knowledgeable parent. Don't live in the world of when you were a teen, times have forever changed! You will need to change with them in order to help your teenager get through the pressures of their youth. Watch the Superbowl Ad on safeguarding your teens.