Minority Students

The following was written by a student at Watertown High School. It wasn't because of race, gender or religious beliefs that made her a minority. What made her a minority was what she believed in! Wouldn't it be nice to see more of these minority students become the "norm"? I think there are more of these students who simply for whatever reason want to remain in the shadows of others who remain at risk due to the choices they make. These minority students should be looked up to as they are role models for others who find it difficult to stand up day after day in living drug and alcohol free and practicing abstinence. You might be a minority, but so was Martin Luther King Jr. He continued throughout his life to take a stand for equal rights of minorities.

I Am the Minority

“He dares to be a fool, and that is the first step in the direction of wisdom.”

-James Huneker

The smoke filled the air as the drinks were passed from one person to the next. No one worried how they would find a ride home; no one cared if they got caught. They did not have anything to lose. All except for me, if I would consume just one alcoholic beverage, if I breathed in just one breathe of smoke, I would feel completely lifeless. My life would have no meaning behind it. On Friday, or Saturday nights, I’m the girl that stays home and watches movies, the kind of girl others would want to look up to. Instead others feel the need to put me down. I’m the outcast, I’m the different one, and I am the minority.

To fit in is everyone’s dream in high school, to be noticed by that special boy, or girl. To be surrounded by a group of peers that are all amazed by your accomplishments, while others sit and are jealous of you. My dream is not so simple. I’ve never been the girl striving for the spot light; I have not been searching for accomplishments others would be proud. Instead, my journey entitles a more proficient dream. I live for lessons others have past on for me, I live for making myself proud of the young women I have become, I live for the ones that have loved me from day one, I live for creating a strong and stable future.

If I could improve myself in anyway possible, I would fix what others have made me become. A scared and timid girl, a girl without a face in a crowd, the girl with no voice but the one she sings to herself.

Getting back on your feet is one of the most difficult actions to do when people keep preventing you from standing. When I talk about my greatest pet peeve I always bring up the same thing. My pet peeve is that the people in your life that have hurt you the most, will never truly know how much they hurt you, and have affected your self pride. The more I hear the negative remarks the more I lose my self worth.

Building up my confidence was never easy. I relied on my family members and my closest friends. My family watched me grow up, they watched me suffer through grade school, they punished me when I made mistakes, and they always reminded me that beauty came within.

It wasn’t until this year that I felt completely beautiful from the inside out. I always knew my personality would shine, and now I finally walk with my head held high. I can now say I have competed with some of the most talented, intelligent, and beautiful young women in Wisconsin. I competed in the Miss Wisconsin Teen Pageant. When people think of pageants they think of the word superficial! I got to know these women and hear their high school, and college stories and I respected them, as they showed me respect. I will hold on to the memories and grow from this experience, because someday I believe I will wear a crown!

Throughout high school it was never about the stories you could tell, it was never about the most friends you thought you had, but it was about the journey you had along the way. My journey started with a shy young girl, a girl that was pushed thru the halls in high school, a girl who none of the high school boys seemed to notice, a girl that was scared. Now I have broken out of my shell, I have gained so much pride. I am not scared. I am the girl others underestimated, but now I truly shine!

The smoke filled the air, as the drinks were passed from one person to the next. The mood suddenly died out. They began to worry where their future would end up. They all took the same path; all except for me. I choose to live my life differently. While others sat and judged me, I stepped out of my comfort zone. I transformed into a young adult. I am now walking more confidently; I am now chasing any dream I can. I am the different one, I am the minority.

Youth At-Risk, of what!?

It's before 6:00 AM and too many months have passed since my last article in "Thin Blue Line at WHS". I apologize for this! This article will address the often misused term "at-risk". We hear "at-risk" all the time within our schools and society, but what does it really mean? This is my opinion only and one that I feel counselors, teachers, parents, businesses, students should consider very closely the next time they hear the term, or choose to say, "I'm not at-risk", because I think you are.

We hear the term, "at-risk" so often I feel we tend to miss the point. The term is counter-productive. We have become immune similar to all the sex and violence seen in the media. No longer does the term "at-risk" impact us. We have been taught that "at-risk" youth are those that use drugs, commit crimes, come from broken homes, where drugs and alcohol is misused. Though I agree with part of the previous statement, "at-risk" encompasses so much more! Ask yourself, "Who's at-risk?" What comes to mind? Aren't all students "at-risk"? You may disagree and say, only those that choose to be "at-risk" really are. Research shows that at-risk youth struggle with complex issues and scenarios that are brought on by peers, mentors, family members, and difficult social environments. Now, if you consider the previous statement and visit the highlighted link, doesn't ALL youth fit into being "at-risk"?

If all youth is "at-risk" then why aren't "we" doing more to prevent destructive behavior? Are we part of the problem or solution to "at-risk" youth? I would like to believe we are part of the solution. It's time we make an honest effort to address all youth, tell them that it's okay to be "true" to themselves, their believes, their morals. It's okay to make good choices, though acknowledge it is very difficult at times to do the right thing and make the right decision. There exists many temptations that pull youth away from making healthy choices, don't be the one tugging!

We have all heard kids say, "Well, everyone's doing it!" As parents we tend to blow this off and say, "Not everyone is doing it!" In a child's mind if many of their friends are making poor choices it seems to them that everyone "is doing it". One of youth's fundamental needs is to be accepted, to fit-in, to be part of the larger picture, to be wanted by their peers. Should youth not partake in "risky behavior" others may tease them and shun them away. Have you ever been selected last in a game? How did you feel? Some students feel this every day of their educational life and beyond! Again I ask, "Do you want to be part of the solution or part of the problem?"

All students are "at-risk". They are at-risk of not passing math class, or not being selected for the school musical, not making a varsity team, not having homework completed, not being asked to a dance, not being chosen for student council, not graduating, not getting a part-time job, not passing their driving test, not fitting in. You get the picture. Every child finds throughout their life, the feeling of "not-fitting in" and the difficult choice of what to do next. The next decision they make could change their life forever! We need to be there, to offer our assistance, our guidance, our help, our encouragement.

Now that you want to be a part of the solution, what can you do? Well, you alone may find the road difficult to travel, like a child, by yourself, so enlist others to help. Tell students to make decisions that protect who they are and not who others want them to be. Daily messages should be heard throughout schools that help students feel they are empowered to say, "NO". To say "no" to at-risk choices. These messages should be included within schools daily announcements, newsletters, homerooms, within school clubs and other co-curricular activities. Students need to be told that it's okay not to fit-in, if by not fitting-in means to be true to themselves. Other students need to be told not to pressure their friends into risky decisions and to encourage others to make good choices. Have you ever thought that students who encourage their friends to make poor choices only do so because they don't want to be the only ones?

Youth are "at-risk" throughout their educational life and beyond, the same goes for us. As we age, we tend to deal with stress and pressures differently because we are more mature, we tend to cope better with disappointments. Let youth know that there are "at-risk" stressors that they can take control of by making good choices and others they can't. In a world full of uncertainties, take charge of what you can and like who you are.

The High School years are difficult enough without students putting pressure on each other. Help out where you can and continue to do so, students we appreciate your help!

The pressures facing our youth today is much greater than it's ever been!

Ping Pong Tournament Benefit

Ping Pong Tournament Benefit Friday, January 9, 2009 from 6:00 pm to 9:00 pm at Watertown High School, 825 Endeavour Drive, Watertown. Cost is $10 per person all money raiser to go to the Matt Krueger Family as Matt continues his battle against cancer.

Trophies to be awarded for 1st and 2nd place finishes in both the singles and doubles brackets. Other door prizes will also be awarded. Food will be sold as will popcorn and other snacks.

You might be asking yourself, "Ping Pong, I used to play this game as a child. It might be a lot of fun!" Well, I'm here to tell you, it will be lots of fun! Plans are to have 4-6 tables setup in the Commons Area. Students as well as Staff and other adults are encouraged to play! The more players the more money donated to the Kruegers! Where else can you have so much fun and benefit someone else at the same time?

For more information about Matt's struggle go to his Internet Site. Matt is a 2007 graduate of Watertown! Thank you for your support and interest.

So far donations have been made by Hardees of Watertown, J&L Tire Johnson Creek, Walmart of Watertown, Watertown High School and The Blue Zone within the high school! If you are interested in donating please contact me via e-mail at neidnerp@watertown.k12.wi.us. Hope to see you all at the Benefit!

Teen Relationships, are they healthy?

Are you a teen? Are you involved in a relationship? You must educate and empower yourself to build violence free relationships. Many think that violence only comes in the form of physical acts taken against another person. Have you ever been teased, sent a hurtful text message or read harmful words on a computer? These too, are acts of violence taken against another person. These acts affect our emotional well-being and can leave lasting scars.

Teenagers place emphasis on being popular and this is especially true when it comes to adolescent girls. Being a parent and a Police/School Liaison Officer, I see others place importance on looks, popularity and relationships with the opposite gender. The order in which they rank these three items of importance changes by the minute. Depending upon what happens with these matters, can result in whether or not the teen has a positive day or experiences hurt, loneliness and loss of self-worth. The latter, may lead to hurting themselves, friends and family members with words of their own.

Teen Dating statistics show one out of every three relationships show signs of abuse. If one party shows patterns of controlling the behavior of another, this is abuse. Teen violence is often hidden from others because the teen has little to no experience in relationships, they want independence from parents, peer pressure directs them to be violent and they have romantic views of dating. Some young boys feel the need to possess others by having complete control, the need to demand intimacy and they may lose respect from their “guy” friends if they show attentiveness and support to their girlfriends. Young girls feel that they are the ones responsible for solving problems in the relationship, possessiveness and jealousy is romantic and abuse is normal because their friends are being abused too. It’s no wonder teens feel this way, have you listened to current music trends, watched music videos, movies or television shows? Ask yourself, “How is the Media portraying the genders?” We have become a society that is num to not only violent physical acts, but emotional ones too.

Teens Dating Bill of Rights and Pledge:

• I have the right
• To always be treated with respect
• To be in a healthy relationship
• A healthy relationship is not controlling, manipulative, or jealous
• A healthy relationship involves honesty, trust, and communication
• To not be hurt physically or emotionally
• To refuse sex or affection at anytime
• A healthy relationship involves making consensual sexual decisions
• You have the right to not have sex
• Even if you had sex before, you have the right to refuse sex for any reason
• To have friends and activities apart from my boyfriend or girlfriend
• To end the relationship
• I pledge to
• Always treat my boyfriend or girlfriend with respect
• Never hurt my boyfriend or girlfriend physically, verbally or emotionally
• Respect my girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s decisions concerning sex and affection
• Not be controlling or manipulative in my relationship
• Accept responsibility for myself and my actions
  

It is important that teens have a dating plan and safety plan with regards to relationships.

Help teach your children the importance of healthy relationships. Provide them with the education to empower themselves to know what is right and what is hurtful. No one should control another person. Parents, what examples are you modeling for your children? Is your relationship at home one of abuse? If it is, report it! Take a stand by getting help. In Jefferson and Dodge Counties contact People Against a Violent Environment (PAVE) or People Against Domestic Abuse (PADA). There are support groups and shelter care facilities to keep you safe.

Remember, you have the right to be safe, the right to be heard and the right to say no. Other sites to visit that offer help with relationships include;

Dating Violence

Beak the Cycle

Love is Respect

Self Injury or Teen Cutting

Emma's mom first noticed the cuts when Emma was doing the dishes one night. Emma told her mom that their cat had scratched her. Her mom seemed surprised that the cat had been so rough, but she didn't think much more about it. Emma's story hits the homes of teenagers around the world. Parents, teachers and friends have seen the marks, however accept many explanations except the truth. The truth is adolescent depression, confusion, fear and is seen more and more frequently in girls than boys.

Why Do People Cut Themselves? It can be hard to understand why people cut themselves on purpose. Cutting is a way some people try to cope with the pain of strong emotions, intense pressure, or upsetting relationship problems. They may be dealing with feelings that seem too difficult to bear, or bad situations they think can't change.

Some people cut because they feel desperate for relief from bad feelings. People who cut may not know better ways to get relief from emotional pain or pressure. Some people cut to express strong feelings of rage, sorrow, rejection, desperation, longing, or emptiness. Those that Self-Injure (SI) themselves might be a sign of other abuse the child is experiencing in the home or with teen relationships. This type of abuse includes; mental, physical, sexual and neglect. Often if children are not getting their basic needs fulfilled at home, they reach out to others to acquire these necessities. Teens who cut themselves many times want to be discovered. Many don't know there are other ways to address the many emotions they are feeling.

How Does Cutting Start? Cutting often begins on an impulse. It's not something the person thinks about ahead of time. Shauna says, "It starts when something's really upsetting and you don't know how to talk about it or what to do. But you can't get your mind off feeling upset, and your body has this knot of emotional pain. Before you know it, you're cutting yourself. And then somehow, you're in another place. Then, the next time you feel awful about something, you try it again — and slowly it becomes a habit."

Natalie, a high-school junior who started cutting in middle school, explains that it was a way to distract herself from feelings of rejection and helplessness she felt she couldn't bear. "I never looked at it as anything that bad at first — just my way of getting my mind off something I felt really awful about. I guess part of me must have known it was a bad thing to do, though, because I always hid it. Once a friend asked me if I was cutting myself and I even lied and said 'no.' I was embarrassed."

What can you do to help a cutting friend? Look for signs of cutting. Your friend wearing long sleeve shirts to hide SI. Your friend becoming a loner and spending less time with you. Help them, help themselves by;

• Talk about it
• Tell someone
• Help your friend find resources
• Help your friend find alternatives to cutting
• Acknowledge your friend's pain
• Be a good role model

What should you not do, as a friend? Do not deliver ultimatums, don't accidently reinforce the behavior and do not join in. By doing these things, you will only be adding to the pain your friend is experiencing.

What should you do to prevent further injury to yourself? Tell someone, ask for help and help identify the troubles that are causing you to self-injure yourself. Although cutting can be a difficult pattern to break, it is possible. Getting professional help to overcome the problem doesn't mean that a person is weak or crazy. Therapists and counselors are trained to help people discover inner strengths that help them heal. These inner strengths can then be used to cope with life's other problems in a healthy way.

Scars express the hardships she had to endure. Outside she is healed. Inside she still bleeds. Longing for someone to bandage her. A poem from a cutter.

Learning to Cope: Teens & Stress

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. ~Unknown high school principal

How should we as parents help our teenagers from folding under today's pressures? First off, focus on the positives your child has accomplished. We all like to hear good things said about what we do, how we act and the decisions we make. Never start off a conversation by telling them you are disappointed and they need to change. Remember, you once we like them, a teenager, facing similar life changing choices. The world today, is much different than it was when we were young. Next, look for signs. Be involved and stay involved in their lives. Make sure that they don't become overloaded with today's pressures. Finally, teach stress management. Offer different ways to deal with stress. Some strategies include; exercising, following a healthy diet and keeping a journal.

Allow your teenager to express themselves through communication. Keep in mind that communication is never a one-sided conversation. You need to listen as much, if not more than you talk. Parents tend to think they have all the answers because they have been there before. I agree that most have a tremendous array of knowledge, however the pressures teenagers are facing today is so much different and as parents we don't have all the answers.

For example, teenage girls often feel they need to meet three basics requirements of fitting in; to be popular, to be pretty and to have a "guy friend". The order of how they obtain these goals changes minute-by-minute. Should something be said about their looks, friends or "guy friend" during the day, many a time they have lost an entire learning day if not more at school. This shows the amount of pressure they and others place on them. Teenagers need to be reassured on a daily basis to be true to themselves. Don't give in to what others think is important. Only they can make decisions about their life.

Many teenagers become involved in risk making decisions because of wanting to accomplish those three goals noted above. Risk taking includes drinking alcohol, taking drugs and sexual relationships. These risk-taking decisions may forever change their life. Indicators are present and must be identified immediately before damage occurs.

Teens are not always equipped to handle on their own the physical, emotional and psychological changes they experience during adolescence. Parents MUST be there to offer guidance and support! Parents must learn more about the current pressures middle school and high school teens are facing today.

A real informative website to help parents is Parents: The Anti-Drug site. Again, any words that are in red, when clicked on, leads to a link on the Internet. Within this site you will read information on other pressures teens have, some have already been named above; others include; To fit in, To be sexually active, To pick on others, To be successful and To be perfect. What can parents do?

The site addressed above will also give you much more information on drugs that teens are experimenting with today. One of the biggest increases I have seen through the years is the use of prescription drugs. Many adults who have prescriptions fail to safeguard them at home and/or never finish using the entire amount thus leaving them behind. Know the signs, be informed and empower yourself as a knowledgeable parent. Don't live in the world of when you were a teen, times have forever changed! You will need to change with them in order to help your teenager get through the pressures of their youth. Watch the Superbowl Ad on safeguarding your teens.

Strawberry Quick?

This is a new drug known as 'strawberry quick '.
There is a very scary thing going on in the schools right now that we all need to be aware of.

There is a type of crystal meth going around that looks like strawberry pop rocks (the candy that sizzles and 'pops' in your mouth). It also smells like strawberry and it is being handed out to kids in school yards. They are calling it strawberry meth or strawberry quick.

Kids are ingesting this thinking that it is candy and being rushed off to the hospital in dire condition. It also comes in chocolate, peanut butter, cola, cherry, grape and orange.

Please instruct your children not to accept candy from strangers and even not to accept candy that looks like this from a friend (who may have been given it and believed it is candy) and to take any that they may have to a teacher, principal, etc. immediately.

Pass this email on to as many people as you can (even if they don't have kids) so that we can raise awareness and hopefully prevent any tragedies from occurring.